nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
