I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
