I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
