He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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