Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
