Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize