How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
