i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
