you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
