So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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