sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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