I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
