Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
