I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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