wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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