bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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