And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
