using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
