Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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