Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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