Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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