loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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