can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize