But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize