Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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