babies were throwing up all over the place
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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