Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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