He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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