Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
