so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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