Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
