spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
