I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
