i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's always time for handjobs
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
