I just cut my nipple shaving
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
