You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
