Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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