i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Two words: nipple clamps
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