dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize