I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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