i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't EVER smell your tampon
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
