Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
