Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
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he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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