Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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