I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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