if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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