i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
