it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
