I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
