Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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