lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
