I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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