They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
