Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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