I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
how does that bad decision feel?
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