He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize