We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
And then he peed in my hair
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