I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
