Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
