You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
