"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
