I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
