we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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