my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
