I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
