I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am midnight drunk by noon
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The adults are the big ones right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
