meet me or not, i'm out of control
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
